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Sexting is sending sexually explicit texts and photos via cell phone. This has become an increasing trend among teens. Lawmakers are having a difficult time deciding how or even if, sexting should be prosecuted. Sexting could, and has been considered child pornography. But since the motivation behind sending such texts is different than that of child pornography it has become a legal gray area. So the debate continues of whether sexting is a crime or just teenage foolishness.
Regardless of what lawmakers eventually decide, teens still need to understand that these images and messages may not be kept private and sending them can have other negative consequences. According to a 2008 survey by The National Campaign, 20% of teens have texted or posted online nude or semi-nude photos of themselves. Between 36-39% of teens said it was “common” for the sent images to be shared with someone other than the intended recipient. So one innocent photo sent to a boyfriend or girlfriend’s cell phone could easily wind up being circulated around the locker room. This could hurt the sender’s reputation, be potentially illegal, and cause all kinds of emotional ramifications. But in the split second it takes to snap a photo, the teenager is probably not thinking about any of that.
The best way to help your teen avoid a potentially painful and embarrassing situation is to talk with them about the possible consequences of sexting. Remind them that nothing is truly private. Let them know your expectations regarding cell phone usage and social media. An Internet filter can be used online to help you monitor what your teen is doing on social media sites and in chat rooms. This is probably a good indicator of how they use their cell phones as well.
Sometimes when I’m on a social networking site reading comments of other people, I cringe. Being somewhat of a “techie”, I know how social networking is making what we do and say online a permanent record. I’ve seen people post very private information on the viral status that goes around about “post this if you’re proud of your son, daughter, husband, had a parent lose the fight to cancer”, etc. I’ve also seen people express major frustrations on social networking sites regarding their workplace, their boss, other employees, an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. Think about it. We enjoy posting our lives online so much that we are giving hints to data miners who can then start putting together different pieces of your life to then use that information for malicious intent and putting ourselves at risk by not being hired by a potential employer, being fired by a current employer, or being sued for slander against someone else.
Even Google’s CEO, Eric Schmidt commented in an interview this week that young people today will probably need to change their names after they get to adulthood to escape the things they said and the photos and videos they posted online when they were younger. Mr. Schmidt stated to the Wall Street Journal, “”I don’t believe society understands what happens when everything is available, knowable and recorded by everyone all the time.”
In fact, Schmidt believes that with the depth of information out there that people freely posts, Google will eventually not just answer your question that you are “Googling”, but be proactive in telling you what you should be doing next, based on your friends, what you seem to like, and what your current location is.
When using social networking sites, be responsible.
Make sure you have the right privacy settings in place. Most people do not think about how far and wide their posts may go. Always use your social networking sites privacy settings to your advantage.
Treat others with respect. Many times we can be much braver in saying things to people behind our monitor that we would never say to their face. The golden rule should always apply – Treat others with the same respect you want to be treated.
Think before you post. Before you post photos of yourself, a video showing you in a drunken stooper at a party, or make an inappropriate comment, remember that what you post is archived for the world to see through major search engines. Employers now look at employment candidates social networking sites. Many people have been turned down from working at their dream job and even been fired from a current job because of social networking posts.
Watch what groups you join and what you “like”. As in your posts, make sure the groups you join aren’t distasteful. Before joining any social networking group or “like” something, check yourself to make sure it isn’t something that might keep you from getting a great job or scoring a promotion.
Don’t become one of the people that Schmidt refers to as needed to change their name because of your online reputation. If you’re a parent, know what your children are saying and what’s being said about them with a trusted parental controls software that can track over 80 social networking sites.
How much time do we spend on social networks and online games?
Nieslen released a study yesterday showing the changes in how we are spending our time online.
Social networking experienced an increase of 43% in online time from June 2009 to June 2010.
Most of us think of Facebook, MySpace and Twitter when we hear the term social networking, but did you know that there are over 80 social networking sites?
Online gaming experienced an increase of 10%.
Online videos/movies experienced a growth of 12%. In fact, according to Neilsen’s study, we have now surpassed having streamed over 10 billion videos!
Parenting in this digital age can be much easier with the use of trusted parental controls software. With the right software, you can know what social networking sites your children have accounts with, receive text alerts on suspicious activity, and be able to log in to your child’s account to view what they are posting and what’s being posted about them on over 80 social networking sites! You can also decide using MPAA and ESRB ratings what online games, videos and movies your children can view.
The online world isn’t going away anytime soon. Don’t be afraid of it. Use the right tools to have a window into your child’s online world and keep your family safe online.
Are you inadvertently using social networking sites to let people know when you’re not at home? If so, you are in the business of advertising “Rob me! Please!”.
A new Website called www.pleaserobme.com recently launched and has gained a ton of attention. The sub heading of this web site says “listing all those empty homes out there”, then shows a live roll of “Recent Empty Homes” and the # of “new opportunities”.
Before you get too upset thinking this site is hacking information, it actually isn’t. It’s using regular search engines that anyone can use to find Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare and Google Buzz posts that contain location information.
The founders of the site note that they are attempting to raise awareness of the privacy issues out there and to get people to think before they post.
Let’s face it. Many of us see the fun and excitement in our social media tools, but don’t really think sometimes how the information we post might affect things. Take some time today to think about how you and your family use social media. Decide what safe practices your family should put into effect to protect your home and your loved ones.
“I can trust my child to do the right things on the Internet.” REALLY?!
“That only happens to other people.” REALLY?!
I recently gave my son some additional permissions on the Internet. After many conversations together over the importance of protecting yourself, I thought “he got it” and I could trust him in this area. As I walked by the computer, I saw a message pop up on the screen asking my son where he lives. He was in the middle of telling this stranger that he’d met playing an online game where we lived. Needless to say, my son and I had a talk right then and looked through his message history together. Unfortunately, not only was my son getting ready to give this person our address, he had already told him his real name as well as his age.
Wow! Talk about a dose of reality. My son is extremely smart and mature in many ways, but not in every way. Although we had talked about the dangers of the Internet and how people could lie, he just knew this person had to be an honest person because they told him their name and age first. Why would they lie about that? Oh, let’s see…. To gain your trust to get more information from you because they are looking for young children to kidnap; to manipulate you into possibly feeling comfortable enough to send them nude or partly nude photos of yourself… I could go on and on.
Then my son explained that if he didn’t respond back, that would be rude and his online “friend” might not be his “friend” any more. Hello! Time to redefine in my son’s mind the true definition of a “friend”. It’s obviously not someone you played an online game with for a few minutes over the Internet that you know nothing about.
Just because our kids are growing up and seem understanding of an issue doesn’t mean they fully understand it well enough to be left out there with no accountability or protection. Luckily, I actively monitor my son’s Internet activities and use Bsecure’s parental controls so that I can test when he’s truly mature enough to start using different applications, allow him to stay on the Internet longer, and provide accountability. It’s easy for any of us to do the right thing when others are watching; it’s not that easy when we think no one is watching and will know.
Don’t be caught off guard! Be proactive in your child’s life with active monitoring and parental controls. Although our kids want to pretend they don’t need us, they do and we should love them enough to fight the battle.
by Mary Kay Hoal
Technology is great. It makes our lives easier, more manageable, and more fun. However, bullies have found a way to take that same technology and turn it into a medium of harassment. If your child has a cell phone, a laptop, a Facebook page, or even a blog, he/she is susceptible to cyberbullying–a form of bullying that lately, has overshadowed “traditional bullying”.
Cyberbullying has all the same side-effects that traditional bullying has, and more. As I’m sure you know, consistent bullying of any kind can create serious emotional damage to a child. Their life can be turned into a nightmare. Among other things, their reputation at school can be destroyed because of humiliating videos on YouTube or snide comments on Facebook/MySpace being exposed for their other friends to see on the internet.
The purpose of this blog post is to leave you and your child with some tips and tools to aid you in case cyberbullying happens in your family. There are multiple ways to handle the situation, some are better than others. Read on and see which methods I feel are the most productive:
For E-mails
Always keep hard copies and digital copies of cyberbullying emails, don’t reply to the email as it will only add gasoline to the fire. In extreme cases where you or your child feels your lives are being threatened, call the police.
How To: Don’t delete the email, keep it in an email sub-folder so it stays organized. (See image below)
G-mail settings

Yahoo! settings

Children emails: Make sure to give them or tell them to create gender neutral email addresses so that random bullies don’t know if the email recipent is male or female.
Always create strong passwords: do not use your/your child’s first or last name anywhere in their email password. Refrain from using easy passwords such as pet names or best friends’ names. Make sure there’s a good mix of numbers and letters as well. For a great-password-making tool, check out: http://www.passwordmeter.com/
For Text Messages:
Don’t delete the text message, and just like emails, don’t respond to the text.
Keep it in your phone and if the bullying gets too serious file a formal complaint with your cell phone provider, or again, in serious instances, call the police.
Any internet related cyberbullying: (social networks, emails, chat rooms, YouTube, etc)
Below I will show you how to take screenshots. This is one of the best ways to keep digital copies of any type of harassment. On the other hand, most big sites like YouTube, Facebook, and AOL have some sort of service that allows you to file a complaint. When you do this, they will most likely ask you if you have evidence of the harassment–this is where the screenshot comes in handy.
Windows based:
On any Windows based PC, you can take a screenshot by pressing the “Prt Sc” key on your keyboard.

This will create an image file of exactly what you see on your computer screen. After pressing the “Prt sc” button, go to an image program such as Paint (comes with any Windows based computer) and once you have the program open, just click on “paste” or press Ctrl + V.
Now save the file somewhere on your computer where you can easily find it.
Mac OSX based:
If you have an Apple Mac, press the Command key + shift + 3 to send an image file straight to your Desktop.

Make sure you save the image to a folder that you’ll remember (maybe make a new folder titled “cyberbullying”) that way you can easily find the proof that you need when things get too serious and you decide to report it.
Free screenshot software:
In a previous blog, I gave some advice to one of my friends when her daughter was being cyberbullied on Facebook. I told her about a great application called Jing. With Jing you can easily document screenshots or video recordings from website activity–this is a great way to generate some evidence of cyberbullying. Check it out at http://www.jingproject.com/download/
This video will show you how to capture video:
____________________________________________
Mary Kay
Hoal is the founder of YourSphere, the first social networking service for youth that parents can embrace. A proud wife and mother of five children (both biological and adopted, ranging in age from 5-18 years old), Mary Kay faces the same challenges every parent does: keeping her kids safe; raising them to be good, happy and well-balanced people; and providing them with the tools and support to create their own future. Mary Kay and husband Ted live in Davis, CA.
Want to become the Mayor of your favorite café or your favorite clothing store? With foursquare, you can! Foursquare is a location-based social networking tool that allows you to not only tell your friends what type of latte you are drinking, but exactly where you are drinking that latte. Foursquare calls this “checking-in” and uses GPS coordinates from your mobile phone to show others where you are.
Foursquare is similar to MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter through the use of “friends”. Let’s face it; it would be pretty boring to check-in where you are if you didn’t have anyone participating with you. Sharing the experience with your friends allows you to see where everyone is, meet up, surprise someone at a restaurant, or see what others have recommended at various points of interest.
Ever wonder which of your friends really frequents a particular coffee shop the most? Foursquare tracks it. In fact, you really can become the “Mayor” of your favorite store by having the highest check-ins of all foursquare users at that store. Businesses are starting to take advantage of this as a way to track and reward their frequent customers with freebies and discounts. You can also earn points with foursquare to earn “badges”. The concept is the more “interesting” your life, the higher your score.
The danger lies in who you allow to be your friend. If you allow someone that you don’t know as your friend because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or are excited to have a lot of friends, you could be allowing dangerous people access to your exact location. Err on the side of being very choosy and allowing only close friends to follow you.
Parents, I’d like to challenge you to learn more about Foursquare, the pros and the cons, and be proactive in talking to your children about it. Discuss if the tool will be allowed, how to properly use it, and who they are allowed to add as friends. Be sure and set up your own account and add yourself as your child’s friend to see where they are and who is on their friends list.
If you have children who are on Facebook and want to get started with your own account, but do not know where to begin, I would strongly encourage you to go to your child and let them know that you are interested in learning more and setting up your own page and becoming their online friend. You’ll have a blast with each other and create memories.
If you would like to try it on your own, I’ve listed some of the basic account setup steps to get you started.
Sign up for an account. Go to www.facebook.com , complete the signup information on the right side and click “Sign Up”.

Follow the next prompt to enter the security words.
Step 1 - Find Friends. Facebook allows you to enter your e-mail address and e-mail password so that it can search through your address book and find your friends that are already online. If you prefer not to type in this information, you can choose “Skip This Step”. I personally prefer to skip entering my personal information here and finding my friends manually.
Step 2 - Profile Information. You can begin building your profile by entering where you went to high shcool, college, and where you work. Facebook uses these fields to also help find friends that match what you input. If you do not want to enter this information at this point, you have the option to skip.
Step 3 - Profile Picture. Choose a picture of yourself that is already on your computer or, if you have a webcam, choose the option “Take a Photo”. Again, you can skip this step and upload your profile picture later.
Step 4- Confirm Your Account. Facebook sends an email to your email address. To confirm your Facebook account, you must check your email and follow the instructions provided.
You have successfully set up a Facebook account!
Finding Friends. To find friends, choose “Friends - Find Friends” in the upper menu. You will be able to search for people by their name or e-mail address. When you find the person you want to be friends with, choose “Add as friend”. Facebook then sends them a message that you have requested to be their friend. Once they confirm you as a friend, you can see each other’s information.
Privacy Settings. Privacy settings can be set on each aspect of your Facebook account. Choose “Settings - Privacy Settings” in the upper right menu. Choose each setting and tweak it to best fit you.
Posing. Facebook posting is done on your “wall”. Your wall gives you an area where you can update your status. Your status might vary from a quote that you want to post to letting your friends know you just watched a movie and loved it to saying you’ve had a great day. It’s in your wall where you will see what your friends and children are saying. You can also go to one of your friend’s or children’s walls and see what other people are posting on their wall. Remember, you can only see on your wall what your friends are posting.
I first entered the world of Facebook to try to learn everything I could about it before my son became interested and asked me if he could sign up for an account. It took me a little while to really see what the purpose was, but after hanging in there, I’ve connected with lost high school friends and been able to re-establish many friendships.
I hope this post has helped you feel a little more comfortable with setting up a Facebook account. And, I hope many of you were able to set up your account with the help of your children who may already have an account.
Stay safe online and make sure your family is protected with the Bsecure Online Internet Filter!
Your child is riding their bike. You keep glancing outside to make sure they are ok. You see a car approaching quickly and notice your child doesn’t hear the car. The driver of the car is on their cell phone, not paying attention to their surroundings. You run outside, yelling your child’s name. They hear you and quickly move out of the way. Your child is saved from harm…this time. But what if you didn’t check on them? They may have never heard the car, and the outcome been much different.
No matter how savvy our children become at different things, they still need us and they still want us to be part of their lives. My son can play video games like nobody’s business, whereas I can’t even walk a character in a straight line. But he still likes for me to watch him play MW2 and enjoys when I try to play with him. As a parent, I receive many perks. We laugh together. I ask questions and glean knowledge from my son about his online “friends”. I learn how they chat, how the online game updates work, and open the lines of communication to talk about what’s new in his gaming world. What level has he gotten to? Does he have any new “friend” requests? Who are they? Are they communicating in an appropriate manner?
Do I know even 1/10th as much as he does when it comes to video games? No! Not even close! But I’m taking the time to learn. I know that I’m nowhere near a gaming “expert”, but I am involved and can see something coming down the pike that isn’t quite right, like that car coming way too fast and not seeing my son on his bike.
The same principle rings true for the Internet. We as parents don’t have to know every little detail about it. But we need to put aside our excuses, embrace learning the basics and keep the lines of communication open with our kids. Over the next few days, I’ll be sharing with you some basics about Internet browsing and the more popular social networking sites.
Yesterday when I logged into my Facebook account, I was greeted with a privacy announcement from Facebook.

Once I continued to the next step, I was greeting with a list of options where I could stay with the old Facebook settings or apply new privacy settings.

I went through each setting and chose what I felt was the most private setting for everything.
Everytime I decide to post something on my Facebook account, I can use my default settings, or, depending on “what’s on my mind”, I can allow it to post to Friends of Friends or Everyone. To further protect my identity, I chose to only let my friends see my contact information.
This is a good step for Facebook to take. However, as parents, it is still our responsibility to teach our children the importance of safeguarding themselves. They are at a stage to where popularity is important to them, and they see no problem with adding “friends” that they do not know. In fact, Sophos conducted a study to see how many people would accept their Facebook friend invite and what information they could find out about them. The findings are posted below:
“Sophos Facebook ID Probe findings:
- 87 of the 200 Facebook users contacted responded to Freddi, with 82 leaking personal information (41% of those approached)
- 72% of respondents divulged one or more email address
- 84% of respondents listed their full date of birth
- 87% of respondents provided details about their education or workplace
- 78% of respondents listed their current address or location
- 23% of respondents listed their current phone number
- 26% of respondents provided their instant messaging screenname
In the majority of cases, Freddi was able to gain access to respondents’ photos of family and friends, information about likes/dislikes, hobbies, employer details and other personal facts. In addition, many users also disclosed the names of their spouses or partners, several included their complete résumés, while one user even divulged his mother’s maiden name - information often requested by websites in order to retrieve account details.”
Don’t just rely on Facebook and other networking sites to add additional privacy settings. Be proactive in teaching your kids not to accept friend requests from people they do not know. Be one of their social networking friends so you can see who they have accepted. Talk them about the importance of keeping their personal information private, and install a trusted, parental controls software like Bsecure as an added layer of protection to know where they are going and to keep them from inappropriate sites.
