Download the Internet Safety Contract, read over with your children explaining why it’s important they obey the rules, then post the contract in a visible place as a reminder.

Regardless of what lawmakers eventually decide, teens still need to understand that these images and messages may not be kept private and sending them can have other negative consequences. According to a 2008 survey by The National Campaign, 20% of teens have texted or posted online nude or semi-nude photos of themselves. Between 36-39% of teens said it was “common” for the sent images to be shared with someone other than the intended recipient.  So one innocent photo sent to a boyfriend or girlfriend’s cell phone could easily wind up being circulated around the locker room. This could hurt the sender’s reputation, be potentially illegal, and cause all kinds of emotional ramifications. But in the split second it takes to snap a photo, the teenager is probably not thinking about any of that.

The best way to help your teen avoid a potentially painful and embarrassing situation is to talk with them about the possible consequences of sexting. Remind them that nothing is truly private. Let them know your expectations regarding cell phone usage and social media. An Internet filter can be used online to help you monitor what your teen is doing on social media sites and in chat rooms. This is probably a good indicator of how they use their cell phones as well.

I must admit; that would have been extremely embarrassing if that would have happened to me when I was a teen. We parents certainly don’t mean any harm. We just want to be connected to our children. It seems our want for connectedness and protection of our children by friending them on Facebook is making them want to leave.

Social networking has become quite ingrained in our lives, so I doubt our children will leave social networking. They’ll just find another social networking medium where we are not located….yet (insert evil parenting laughter).

Since there are over 80 social networking sites out there, my question to you is how are you going to know what social networking sites your children have joined? Chances are, if they feel that you have embarrassed them on Facebook, they probably aren’t going to tell you where they went; in fact, they may choose to pretend that they gave up social networking all together. I don’t see that happening!!

In this case, how can you continue to protect your children from cyberbullying and online predators? They obviously aren’t going to friend you again (not that your intent was in the least bit to be a “spy”). There is a solution! Use the right tools that will give you a window into your child’s online world to keep them safe, even if you do not “friend” them.

There are many Internet filters to choose from and some can be downloaded online for free. How do you know which one to choose? When choosing an Internet filter, consider the following questions:

• How many categories does it provide for blocking inappropriate sites?
• Does the filter allow you to log in to your control panel from any Internet connection so that you can check activity and make updates from wherever you are?
• Does the filter force Safe Search on all the major search engines and re-force it on if someone attempts to turn Safe Search off?
• Does the filter allow you to schedule when your children can be online?
• Does the filter block Phishing, Malware and Spam sites?
• Does the filter have social networking protection?
  • If so, does it only cover Facebook, MySpace and Twitter, or does it cover over 80 social networking sites?
  • Does it give you exclusive access to the child’s social networking accounts?
• Does the filter allow you to set the MPAA and ESRB ratings for online TV, movies and games that your children are allowed to view and play online?
• Does the filter send you real-time text messages and/or e-mail alerts when suspicious activity is happening?
• If you are struggling with temptation of inappropriate sites or have an addiction, does the filter have a no-override option where you turn over the password to an accountability partner and cannot override any blocked sites or uninstall the software?
• How many computers does the filter cover and how many computer users will it cover for the base price?
• Does the company give you a money back guarantee?

There could be numerous reasons you are looking for an Internet filter today. These reasons could range from proactively wanting to protect your family from the bad stuff that’s out there to your child stumbling upon pornography unintentionally to needing help with overcoming an Internet addiction. Whatever the reason, find a trusted Internet filter that can be tailored to meet your needs, and grow with you.

A Google search of Montana Fishburne turns up 2,560,000 results. A search of Amelia Earhart only has about 1,490,000 results. One of the most noted women in American history, an aviation pioneer, turns up over a million less results than the porn star. It is no wonder young girls are confused as to who they should look up to.

According to Enough is Enough’s Internet Safety 101 Rules ‘N Tools Booklet, girls as young as eight to ten years old “may be influenced by media images…especially those that appear ‘cool’ or desirable.” By the time girls are between the ages of eleven and thirteen they “may try to imitate provocative media images and behaviors.” The main stream media images can be detrimental to a developing girl’s body image as well as her views on the expectations of women. According to the images we are surrounded by, a woman must look and act in an overtly sexual way in order to be famous and make a lot of money, the apparent markers of success in this society. Unless you tell your daughter differently that is what she might aspire to be.

You can’t make your child live life blind folded but there are some measures you can take to limit and monitor her media exposure:
<ul><li>Visit sites like pluggedin.com to get media reviews that will help you make age appropriate choices for your child</li>
<li>Make sure she watches age appropriate TV shows, movies and music videos</li>
<li>Know the music she listens to and what the lyrics are about</li>
<li>Install a trusted internet filter that will keep her from inappropriate sites online</li>

The best way to help you daughter is to talk to her. Tell her your expectations of what a young girl should be and show her what a woman should be by becoming a role model for her. Tell her how you feel about the images she is being bombarded with and ask her how she feels about it too. Talk to her about the women you admire in your life. What you think matters to her more than you realize.

After my son told me what had been going on at school, he begged me not to say anything to the teacher or any of the other parents. The kids felt that if the boy got in trouble, he’d be even meaner to them.  I consider myself lucky that my son confided in me because most children do not communicate these types of things with their parents.

My son’s bullying is happening in the physical world. He has an escape from it – home. Imagine if he were old enough to be on social networking sites. He would then not have an escape from the bullying. Many children are facing this today. They get picked on at school, online through social networks, videos going viral, and mean text messages through their phone that then gets forwarded to other people within the school and at other schools where the mocking grows and grows.

If your child is on social networks, be proactive.

• Educate yourself about social networks.
• Know what social sites they are on. Set them up with your child.
• Keep the computer in a common room.
• Do not allow your child to sign up for accounts that they aren’t old enough for. Allowing them to change the year they were born to be able to have an account teaches them that lying is OK when it isn’t OK.
• Set privacy settings on each site to publicly show as minimum information as possible.
• Set rules on who they can accept as friends.
• Set boundaries on how much “online” time is allowed each day.
• Use a trusted parental controls software that shows you the social networking sites they have accounts with, and that gives you exclusive parent access capabilities to login to your child’s accounts to view posts, photos, videos, friends and privacy settings.
• Check their social networking accounts regularly.
• If you have a social networking account, friend your child.
• Communicate regularly with your children and talk to them about posts that you feel are inappropriate and why.
• Let your children know they can come to you over anything that happens online that makes them feel the least bit uncomfortable.

Get involved. Parental controls are a great tool that can be used to help you know when potential suspicious activity is going on, but nothing can do a better job at making context judgments than an involved parent. Use parental control tools and regular communication with your children to assist you in protecting your children online.

Even Google’s CEO, Eric Schmidt commented in an interview this week that young people today will probably need to change their names after they get to adulthood to escape the things they said and the photos and videos they posted online when they were younger.  Mr. Schmidt stated to the Wall Street Journal, “”I don’t believe society understands what happens when everything is available, knowable and recorded by everyone all the time.”

In fact, Schmidt believes that with the depth of information out there that people freely posts, Google will eventually not just answer your question that you are “Googling”, but be proactive in telling you what you should be doing next, based on your friends, what you seem to like, and what your current location is.

When using social networking sites, be responsible.

Make sure you have the right privacy settings in place. Most people do not think about how far and wide their posts may go. Always use your social networking sites privacy settings to your advantage.

Treat others with respect. Many times we can be much braver in saying things to people behind our monitor that we would never say to their face. The golden rule should always apply – Treat others with the same respect you want to be treated.

Think before you post. Before you post photos of yourself, a video showing you in a drunken stooper at a party, or make an inappropriate comment, remember that what you post is archived for the world to see through major search engines. Employers now look at employment candidates social networking sites. Many people have been turned down from working at their dream job and even been fired from a current job because of social networking posts.

Watch what groups you join and what you “like”. As in your posts, make sure the groups you join aren’t distasteful. Before joining any social networking group or “like” something, check yourself to make sure it isn’t something that might keep you from getting a great job or scoring a promotion.

Don’t become one of the people that Schmidt refers to as needed to change their name because of your online reputation.  If you’re a parent, know what your children are saying and what’s being said about them with a trusted parental controls software that can track over 80 social networking sites.

Mike’s statement rings very true. If you have watched music videos lately, you clearly see the sexualization going on in the lyrics and the videos. Children as young as 9 years old go around talking about how Lady GaGa is their favorite artist.

My 11 year old started talking about Lady GaGa soon after her first hit on the radio. After listening to the music myself and seeing parts of the music videos, I decided she was too “mature” for my 11 year old to watch and listen to and talked to my son about the inappropriateness of the lyrics and the video.  With all the sexualization going on in all the media outlets, our children are becoming desensitized and do not see things as a “big deal”.

Our children’s worldview is influenced by what they see and how they focus their time online and with other media outlets. We must re-enforce in our children our family’s worldview. Some helpful tips on reinforcing our worldview in our children are by:

Knowing what your children are listening to. If your child has an iPod or other portable MP3 device, know what they are buying and listening to. If you are purchasing their music for them or need information on a certain artist, check with a reputable music review such as www.pluggedin.com.

Knowing that your child is watching what you have decided are appropriate videos for them to view online. YouTube is very popular. My son uses YouTube more than Google any more, as he likes to watch how to do something or watch a video game review versus read text about it. Use a trusted Parental Controls system such as Bsecure Online to set ratings on what’s appropriate for your child based on your child’s age and your family worldview.

Communicating with your children. Let your children know what your family believes and why. Talk to them regularly about their music choices; find out what they think is “cool” and discuss why it may not be so “cool”. If your children are anything like mine, they want me to be involved in their life. They want to know that I care and love them. They also love seeing me be involved in their activities. I’m sure that may eventually change, but while that door is open, let’s take the opportunity to build those strong foundations now.

Supporters of net neutrality believe that placing a premium on certain content would negatively impact grassroots organizations. This would cause the big companies to get bigger and the small companies to struggle to survive in the market.  Supporters also believe that the content control needed to differentiate between sites would limit our freedom of speech.

Some Christian organizations have spoken out in favor of net neutrality; however, they also want service providers to block pornography and other questionable websites. Currently this option is left up to the consumer, but changes in net neutrality laws could potentially give that control to the service providers or larger corporations. However, changes in these laws could cause a conflict of interest. For instance, one of the most lucrative industries is the pornography industry, which could easily pay any premiums to have their content transferred faster.  So in essence, the laws that could potentially allow ISPs more control over blocking pornography sites are the same laws that would give pornography sites the right to pay a premium and have their information delivered faster than, for example, your local non-profit church.

Today consumers have tools available to control the information allowed on their personal computers. If you have concerns over what your family is viewing online take the initiative to make changes now by installing a trusted Internet filter, rather than waiting for this debate to conclude.

August 9, 2010 – Colorado Springs, Colo. —Focus on the Family® and Bsecure Online® have formed an alliance to bring families a trusted system for online protection.

Bsecure Online, one of the world’s leading providers of online parental controls software since 2001, has recently released version 6.1. In addition to its fast, easy-to-use web filtering and reporting tools, Bsecure 6.1 provides protection through:

• Comprehensive Social Networking Protection: Facebook®, Myspace®, Twitter® & more than 80 other social networking sites

o PredAlert® text and email alerts for suspicious activities

o Exclusive parental access to child’s accounts

• Comprehensive Online Media filtering for movies, online gaming, iTunes®, and online TV
• Exclusive “Whole Home” Web Filtering option for any device that enters your home such as a Wii®, Smartphones, and all WiFi devices
• Exclusive accountability option for adults struggling with Internet temptations or possible addictions

BSecure 6.1 not only helps filter dangerous online content, it enables families to stay engaged and connected in an online world.

“Given the vast quantities of inappropriate content that is readily available for access on the Internet, Bsecure 6.1 is an excellent solution for parents raising families in an online generation,” says Chairman and CEO of Bsecure Online, Joe Gregory.

With the arrangement, Bsecure Online becomes the exclusive family safety software provider for Focus on the Family. Combined with practical family support from Focus, including complimentary counseling referral services, help for addictions and positive entertainment alternatives, it’s an alliance that will enable families to be more proactive and secure than ever before.

“We hear from many families who struggle with the effects of pornography entering their homes,” says Dr. Juli Slattery, family psychologist for Focus on the Family. “First time exposure to online pornography often begins accidentally. There’s a real need for a practical filtering solution–and support for those who are struggling.”

For more information on BSecure Online and Focus on the Family, visit www.FocusOnTheFamily.com/bsecure or call 1 (800) A-FAMILY.

About Focus on the Family
Reaching more than 220 million people in 155 nations, Focus on the Family is a Christian nonprofit organization dedicated to serving, strengthening and defending families worldwide. Founded in 1977, Focus on the Family provides practical tools, spiritual resources and emotional support to families at every stage of life. Focus on the Family is online at www.FocusOnTheFamily.com.

About BSecure Online
Bsecure Online, based in Bristol, Tennessee, has been a provider of advanced cloudcare technology in the Internet filtering industry since 2001. It is the most endorsed and trusted software provider for the family, including the most recent partnership with Focus on the Family. Bsecure Online is consistently ranked as a leading provider of Internet family protection software in all 50 states and globally. For more information on Bsecure Online, visit www.bsecure.com.